How To Support Autistic Flatmates | Ambitious About Autism

The Youth Patrons and Sarah share their tips for how to support an autistic flatmate, flatmate you think might be autistic and even just ways to be kind in this video. As every person is an individual, autistic or not, the best practice is to always talk to each person about what they specifically need for support, what they like and what they don’t like.

ideal flatmate’s quiz helps you to figure out what you might want or prefer about the people you want to live with. By asking clear questions it can help you to figure out that a person may prefer a quieter social life where they live and prefer to socialise elsewhere as a home is a place to rest and recharge. Figuring out what a person needs is the first step in providing the right support.

The Youth Patrons and Sarah talk about some of the misconceptions about autism and the preferences of autistic people. They talk about the preference for identity first language (autistic rather than with autism), language that isn’t stigmatising (struggle not suffer) and being thoughtful about the language you are using. For many autistic people getting the language right about them makes them feel more included and supported.

Autistic people can face difficulties in a couple of main areas. These areas are social interactions with others, communication, processing information and the sensory environment. Each person is affected differently and there can be different triggers for distress or frustration.

Ambitious about Autism has worked on a toolkit called Include Autism. The main focus of the toolkit is for youth groups to be more inclusive, but there are lots of different support plans, communication tools and resources in the toolkit that can be used universally.

Having specific and clear questions, like those in the toolkit’s resources can really help figure out what a person might need for support and get conversations started.

Top tips for supporting an autistic flatmate from the Youth Patrons and Sarah:

1. Talk to the person before putting anything into place. It is much better to put in the right support because you’ve asked and it is the right thing to do rather than decide something is right when it might not be.

2. Make sure to include people. There is nothing worse than being excluded because people think you don’t want to do something, so always offer the invitation. Being able to say no or say yes flexibly is much better than not being asked at all.

3. Some people communicate differently and they should be as equally respected for how they communicate whether it is verbal, not a lot of words or through communication apps.

4. People have different strengths and weaknesses, maximise on peoples strengths and support them in the areas they struggle with. Some people don’t like phoning utility companies while others are really good at getting quick help and saving money on the phone.

5. Be mindful of people’s sensory sensitivities. Some people can really struggle with multiple noises, strong smells or bright lights so work together to reduce the potentially overwhelming factors where you live. If you can’t, try to come up with some compromises that everyone agrees on.

Jack (@MrJW18) said:

“With this film and using our real-life experiences from living away from home, it demonstrates how simple adjustments, support from those we live with and the space to talk about your individual needs as an autistic person can enable us to live as any other adult and to lead our lives in the way we choose.”

To sum this all up, some people will need more support than others, some are very capable by themselves and the best way to find that out is to talk to the individual and respect what their choices are.

If you would like to find out more, here are the other blog posts in our collaboration with Ambious About Autism:

Disclosing Autism to Flatmates

Finding a Flat Share When you’re Autistic

How to settle disputes between flatmates