{"id":1929,"date":"2019-05-21T16:07:11","date_gmt":"2019-05-21T16:07:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.idealflatmate.co.uk\/flatmate-HQ\/?p=1929"},"modified":"2019-05-31T08:23:55","modified_gmt":"2019-05-31T08:23:55","slug":"how-to-settle-disputes-between-flatmates-ambitious-about-autism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/flatmate-HQ\/how-to-settle-disputes-between-flatmates-ambitious-about-autism\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Settle Disputes Between Flatmates | Ambitious About Autism"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Most people argue at least once in the time that they know a person, whether they are family, close friends, live together or have opposing ideas. So it\u2019s likely that you will at some point get frustrated at, annoyed by, grumble about and maybe argue with a flatmate. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">You can settle disputes before they even start, while they are happening and repair the relationship after the issues have all been aired. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">This isn\u2019t something that will always be easy for autistic people, simply because autism generally involves social communication differences, differences in how autistic people process information and the world around them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Often we rely on body language, inference or \u2018what is unsaid\u2019, but if something isn\u2019t explicit then not all people will be able to pick up on it. Jack, Jak and Sarah discuss how disputes can start because people don\u2019t communicate effectively and how to delicately get relationships with flatmates back on track.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"525\" height=\"295\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yjlsAaLkb2I?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Unfortunately, autistic people can often be seen as quite blunt or direct. This trait and a no-nonsense approach to communication can appear quite harsh, especially in an argument where everyone is more sensitive. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Youth Patrons and Sarah suggest some tips for resolving and avoiding disputes:<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\">\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Set clear rules so everyone knows what is expected of them.<\/span><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\">\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Comments about someone else\u2019s hygiene or habits shouldn\u2019t be personal. These are things that have built up over a long period of time so aren\u2019t changed instantly, that is why they\u2019re habits. Instead, don\u2019t approach the issue directly as it could seriously hurt someone\u2019s feelings.<\/span><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\">\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Passive aggressive notes and shouting don\u2019t help. You typically still need to live with a person after you\u2019ve had a row so you do need to communicate with them respectfully. <\/span><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400\">\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">When you talk about something don\u2019t make someone feel like they can\u2019t escape, an open and honest conversation that someone can stop and finish later is much better.<\/span><\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sarah (@Sarahmarieob) found that it was often easy for grumbles to turn into housemates not talking to each other:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cIt would always start with one person not doing their dishes on time. You\u2019d then notice every little thing they did wrong and then suddenly everything builds up because you a) haven\u2019t spoken to the person about what is annoying you and b) have now attributed so much more to the annoyance.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The most important thing to remember is that disputes will invariably happen. Instead of letting the frustration build up the best approach is to tackle disputes without adding extra annoyance, don\u2019t allow small issues the space to become large issues. <\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">If in doubt always check out the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.idealflatmate.co.uk\/flatmate-HQ\/\"><strong>Flatmate HQ<\/strong><\/a> for more tips on living with other people. And if you&#8217;re looking for a place to live take a look at our\u00a0huge range of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.idealflatmate.co.uk\/search\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>spare rooms to rent<\/strong><\/a> throughout the UK.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most people argue at least once in the time that they know a person, whether they are family, close friends, live together or have opposing ideas. So it\u2019s likely that you will at some point get frustrated at, annoyed by, grumble about and maybe argue with a flatmate. You can settle disputes before they even &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"\/flatmate-HQ\/how-to-settle-disputes-between-flatmates-ambitious-about-autism\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;How to Settle Disputes Between Flatmates | Ambitious About Autism&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":1859,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[87,88,98,31,29,20,30,97,51],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/flatmate-HQ\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1929"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/flatmate-HQ\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/flatmate-HQ\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/flatmate-HQ\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/flatmate-HQ\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1929"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"\/flatmate-HQ\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1929\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1984,"href":"\/flatmate-HQ\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1929\/revisions\/1984"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/flatmate-HQ\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1859"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/flatmate-HQ\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1929"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/flatmate-HQ\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1929"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/flatmate-HQ\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1929"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}